If you ask us why we love functional fitness, most of us will tell you it’s all about the community we have found, the confidence we have cultivated, and the personal growth we have experienced since joining a box. For those who have not tried it yet, the culture of fitness can seem a bit confusing. We have our own language, rituals, and inside jokes, after all. Although functional fitness really is for everyone, from that PR pride to fresh chalk feeling, there are just some things only women who train really understand.
Whether you have been doing the sport for six months or 10 years, below are 19 laugh-out-loud truths you will just “get.”
19 Things Only Fitness Women Can Relate to
1. Sometimes We Forget Not Everyone Wants to Talk About Training All the Time
While Susie from the cubicle over there wants to talk about her family’s rained-out Memorial Day picnic and Victor from floor three wants to complain about his wife’s mother, all we want to talk about is Murph. “What was your time?” “Partitioned or nah?” “Did you end up wearing a weight vest?”
While most of our friends and coworkers will listen to us talk about the gym for a few minutes, once their interest dips, we are at a loss! What else is there to talk about besides training?
2. Watching Other People Exercise is Our Idea of a Good Time
Seriously, few things bring us more joy than watching people exercise, especially competitively. CrossFit Open recap videos from our fittest faves on Instagram? Yes, please! Live streaming Regionals from our laptops when we are supposed to be at work? Yep, we’re in.
3. We Love to Complain-Brag About How Sore We Are
We will admit it. We have mastered the whine disguised as a brag. “My calves are so sore from 18.4. Damn. All. Those. Dubs.” “Murph destroyed my lats. I guess that’s what I get for doing 100 butterfly pull-ups in a 14-pound weighted vest.”
We may sound like we are complaining about how sore we are, but this is really just our way to talk about a WOD that destroyed us and that we love.
4. We Nervous Pee
“Wait, I need to nervous pee” is common talk from women who train double-under and box jumps. While a little pee never hurt anybody, ever since our boxes started posting more post-WOD shots on Instagram, we make sure to hit the loo before the buzzer.
5. Our Hands Aren’t Necessarily Soft
Our moms and manicurists think our hands are in need of some serious TLC. We think we never asked for their opinion (so there!). While in the real world, we may end up wincing after shaking a client’s hand, we secretly love picking at the built-up skin and sharing pics of our bloody AF hands after toe-to-bars.
Besides, if you didn’t rip, did you even really 18.3?
6. We Don’t Happy Hour — We WOD
For us after-work athletes, there is a constant struggle: while our coworkers are getting ready to head out of the office for a “much-needed beer,” we are fast-walking it straight to the gym for a WOD that will crush our souls. But there is no nice way to break the news to our cubicle buddies that we’d rather muscle up and thrust than small talk and booze, so we are constantly thinking of believable excuses to get out of happy hour. (“Uh, my pet parrot Peter has the flu!” “My patio needs watering!” “I really need to unload the dishwasher!”)
7. People Love to Ask Us, “How Much Do You Lift?”
We love talking about how much we lift with our #fitfam, and nothing makes us prouder than ringing that PR bell. But when a stranger asks us how much, we get a little self-conscious. Who’s asking and why do they want to know?
Besides, we never know what number to share! Our squat? Front squat? Power clean? Hang power clean? Thruster? Bench press?
8. (Almost) Nothing Makes Us Prouder Than When Coach Compliments Us on Our Form
*BRB, blushing for the rest of the day*
*Feels like a rockstar*
*Looks at gym crush to see if they heard*
9. We Love Jeans; We Don’t Love Jean Shopping
Denim isn’t the enemy. But with a bottom-half that squats, deadlifts, and wall balls, denim shopping might be. While not every woman who works out will get a fuller lower half (in fact, many slim down) with a trim waist and rounder rear, finding jeans that fit our lifter proportions is hard work. Not as hard as a girl workout, but still hard. (We don’t sweat it too much, though; we love our gym booties.)
10. We Love Chalk
A little hand-chalk means a better grip. A better grip means faster toe-to-bars, heavier deads, and more pull-ups. We’ve only got one question: if you are not covered in chalk after a workout, did you really even do it?
11. Nothing Makes Us Happier Than That Feeling When Our Favorite Pull-Up Bar Is Open
“Hi, baby. It’s me and I’ve missed you.”
12. We Have a Different Understanding of Time
Samantha goes to the gym for three hours. Samantha likes to stick to the elliptical and treadmill and occasional calf-raise. Samantha has never completed a workout like Fran and realized that a two-minute workout can kick your ass. We are not like Samantha! We understand how deep into the pain cave we can go in under two minutes.
(Oh, and we can count down from 10 faster than a parent waiting to put their kiddie in time out.)
13. We Love Talking About Other Girls
… like the workouts. Sorry, not juicy gossip here, but just us talking about how Annie is a pain in our ass.
14. We Are All About the Style Points
At the gym, we are all about that fitness flare. New lifters make us feel like Beyoncé. New lifters that match our weightlifting belts make us feel like Beyoncé and Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
15. We Don’t Care If We Leave Booty Prints on the Floor
We can’t help it if we automatically collapse to the floor as soon as coach yells, “Time!” Because sweat drips from every pore of our bodies, the instant our skin makes contact with the floor, we leave a mark. And guess what? We DGAF!
16. Double-Unders Got Us Feeling Some Type of Way
“Look, Ma! I’m flying!”
17. We Amp Ourselves Up With Little Pep Talks
“Ask not what your barbell can do for you. Ask what you can do with your barbell.”
We all have our go-to mantra.
18. Training Makes Us Feel Like We Can Do Anything
Sometimes our internal dialogue looks a little like this: “I did a hero WOD this weekend. I can do anything. Watch out, people.”
19. Our Friends Don’t Appreciate When We Try to Recruit Them
We love fitness. We love our friends. But we LOVE our fitness friends. Wouldn’t it be great if all of our friends started training and we could WOD, mobility, and brunch all day, every day?
We know anyone who gives the sport a whirl will immediately fall in love with it. We also know that eventually, our friends will give it a try just to get us to shut up.